The Change

   It's been said that it is only when you come to the end of yourself that you are finally ready to let Jesus into the door of your heart . I was definitely at the end . Joel was at the end . I came to my first conclusion about homosexuality . You are who you are , you can't change your or anyone else's sexual orientation . Nothing , including begging God , brings change to this part of who you are . For all practical purposes it is  as much a part of you as your skin color or your height . Soon after that I learned something else ; no one knows what causes homosexuality . We do know that all through history that there have been individuals with a homosexual orientation . Including when Jesus walked this earth .
   So , at the end of myself , I opened the door to my heart . Jesus walked in and began to teach me about love , real love , His love . It soon became apparent to me that I ( we ) had taken the most radical , inclusive message of love , grace , and acceptance and morphed it into judgement and exclusiveness . I saw so clearly that I only loved people who were just like me - those who met my criteria for being worthy of love. And because I had so neatly been keeping God in my " God-box " , He only loved those who met my criteria as well . Or as Anne Lamont put it , " You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do . " I had created God in my own image ! It was time for a radical change . As I read my Bible and listened to Jesus speak I began to make a concerted effort to find out just what He had to say about homosexuality . I read and re-read the gospels and I found out what He had to say  - NOTHING ! And I knew that it wasn't that He didn't know about it - it just wasn't part of His big 10 hit list of sins ! It became very clear that to Him , it isn't about sex ! It was about relationship and truly acting out of love towards others . I believe that is why  the only commandment in the Big Ten dealing with sex concerns adultery . Adultery always results in a breakdown of love and trust and destroys relationships . This is what disturbed Jesus , not whether the one you love is the same gender !
   This realization was huge to me ! God does love all people ! He loves gay people , lesbian people , bisexual people , transgendered people , and even heterosexual people ! He loves them just the way they are ! He loves Joel just the way he is ! He even loves me just the way I am !
   I knew that my life was about to change . Change in a scary , trust Me sort of way . At the same time I was ready for a change ! Why wouldn't I want to exchange my small self-shaped life for a much larger God-shaped life ? So , I asked Him , " what now ? " And He said , " I think you already know , love people like I love you , and be fair and just and merciful and continue to walk humbly with me . "
Micah 6:8




next post - What this Means

Why

" A Cup of Joe " is my effort to put into words the spiritual journey that I have been on for the past 10 years . This journey has brought me into a place where I have more peace than ever before , while at the same time experiencing more tension in my life . It has brought me into a place where I've let go of some long held beliefs , become more passionate about some others , and even picked up a few new ones along the way . I feel more "alive " than I ever have ! I've always known that there are different types of love ; for example , I love coconut cream pie ( mom's recipe please ), canoeing , movies , and of course coffee ! But I also love my friends , my family , and most of all my wife , Aileen ! And then there is the God thing . I was raised in a Christian family by two of the best parents ever , but while I believed what I was taught , I don't think I ever " loved God ". I know now why I didn't ; you see , it had never been personal . Ten years ago it became personal . I had an unmistakable encounter with Him and for the first time I truly understood "God love " ! That is , I finally understood how much God loves each one of us !
My hope is that by sharing my journey , some of you may be willing to share yours as well . The journey is not over , the adventure has only begun , let us travel together !  Joe


Next post- the event that changed everything .