It's been said that it is only when you come to the end of yourself that you are finally ready to let Jesus into the door of your heart . I was definitely at the end . Joel was at the end . I came to my first conclusion about homosexuality . You are who you are , you can't change your or anyone else's sexual orientation . Nothing , including begging God , brings change to this part of who you are . For all practical purposes it is as much a part of you as your skin color or your height . Soon after that I learned something else ; no one knows what causes homosexuality . We do know that all through history that there have been individuals with a homosexual orientation . Including when Jesus walked this earth .
So , at the end of myself , I opened the door to my heart . Jesus walked in and began to teach me about love , real love , His love . It soon became apparent to me that I ( we ) had taken the most radical , inclusive message of love , grace , and acceptance and morphed it into judgement and exclusiveness . I saw so clearly that I only loved people who were just like me - those who met my criteria for being worthy of love. And because I had so neatly been keeping God in my " God-box " , He only loved those who met my criteria as well . Or as Anne Lamont put it , " You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do . " I had created God in my own image ! It was time for a radical change . As I read my Bible and listened to Jesus speak I began to make a concerted effort to find out just what He had to say about homosexuality . I read and re-read the gospels and I found out what He had to say - NOTHING ! And I knew that it wasn't that He didn't know about it - it just wasn't part of His big 10 hit list of sins ! It became very clear that to Him , it isn't about sex ! It was about relationship and truly acting out of love towards others . I believe that is why the only commandment in the Big Ten dealing with sex concerns adultery . Adultery always results in a breakdown of love and trust and destroys relationships . This is what disturbed Jesus , not whether the one you love is the same gender !
This realization was huge to me ! God does love all people ! He loves gay people , lesbian people , bisexual people , transgendered people , and even heterosexual people ! He loves them just the way they are ! He loves Joel just the way he is ! He even loves me just the way I am !
I knew that my life was about to change . Change in a scary , trust Me sort of way . At the same time I was ready for a change ! Why wouldn't I want to exchange my small self-shaped life for a much larger God-shaped life ? So , I asked Him , " what now ? " And He said , " I think you already know , love people like I love you , and be fair and just and merciful and continue to walk humbly with me . "
Micah 6:8
next post - What this Means
